What India truly wants from Uncle Nation?

15 Jun

This article is not about me, its about Indians. Lets do it in catechism manner;
Two characters which by no means are fictious were found conversing and my parrot over heard them and then told me about it so here I am writing about it.
Bawla Bhoot: Do Indians see US as eternal friend?
Dr. PK Pichaach: Hell, NO.
BB: Then why do Indians want to go their?
PK: Thats the great down fall plan.
BB: What? Elaborate!!!
PK: When I was alive, then India had great relationship with nation filled with blondes and was too cold for our liking called as USSR. As nations we sang together mostly songs from the movies of film director who was harbinger of intelligent pseudo semi porn in India. But soon, we like a leech in some superficial sense out of destiny started sucking them. That country of blondes fell on its knees and a country which we considered as our enemies uncle became number one.
BB: So do you mean that we lead to fall of that nation of blondes who wear too many clothes due to cold. (…smirk…)
PK: Yes and No. Not directly but yes, you will be able to understand my logic more clearly as I tell more about this theory.
BB: That Uncle nation…does it have blondes too?
PK: Hell yes, and thats the reason we started to sing with them too, but this time songs were different and no one from Uncle nation could ever understand them. Most of the times when they came to India, they would find their jaws dropped in some pot hole, as they never found a single snake and tiger in India. (Thats a complete different story, to brief it up; people in Uncle nation had notion that India is a land of snakes and tigers, we tried hard to tell, that “no its not so”, they never agreed. Then we took it upon ourselves to remove that notion from its very roots, we started shift+deleting snakes and tigers from our country so that no one can ever find them and so they thought, that the notion would soon be gone…successful?)
To sum it up Bawla, Indians love blondes.
BB: But how does it explain the fall of a big nation?
PK: Oh Yes! I got lost in a dream of my blonde pichaachni. See, when we make friend we suck them and then they crumble down under their own pressure. Like that ‘Very Cold nation filled with Blondes’ and now ‘Uncle nation’. Uncle nation in recent years is not performing upto its potential and our friendship is on rise. Add to it, we never liked ‘Uncle Nation’ so we started exporting our best weapon of mass production. And slowly and slowly…
BB: I got it, we are sucking them out. HELL’O’LAYIA …
PK: Thats not it, we are exporting our weapons of mass production to other nations too, and few of the worst hit are those who ruled us for 200 yrs. Soon it would be India’s unsaid-unwritten colony.
BB: So what does India truly want from Uncle Nation?
PK: Obviously, Blondes! Since it was too cold nation of our previous attempt, and since we do not like cold things (even we Indian bhoot pre heat and re heat every thing we eat) we went for different nation. Nation with more money and less clothes, quite contrary to ours, nation with less money and less clothes. So balance would be established once they get ready to submit all of their blondes to us without any conditions. Then and only then we would leave their nation. And yes same goes for Kangaroo Nation.
BB: Sir you are awesome, and I feel obliged to have this great discussion with you…one final question, I am worried about Kung-fu nation and its policies, what can we do about it?
PK: Even I am worried about it, they figured this leeching thing way back, thats why they never took the Bhai-Bhai bate, and on to that they dont have blonndes thus they are not our friends and thus there are little chances that we can do any thing for their downfall. You have provided me a challenge and soon i will try to come up with solution.

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