Wrong Number / Wrong Number

5 Aug

I finally got a forward after long time. Its just odd and lovely the way I have avoided mass forwarded messages both incoming and outgoing, by following strategy of NO MASS FORWARD. Few friends do and they are the best forwards and are often worthy to read. So today I got a forward from one of my friend and it goes like this –


It was the day of my son’s XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no. “Ma”, he screamed in excitement, “I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects.” I can’t believe it. “I kind of became numb in my excitement. My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his forehead and smiled.”

Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps.

I wanted to call my “wrong-number-friend” to tell him the news…… I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years.

I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me When I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls….. After that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day…even without knowing each other’s names. Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name…Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me ‘Sweety’. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student.

From then he used to call me very often. We almost discussed everything.

By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it? ……..all these questions ran through my mind.

I decided I’ll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I laid to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there. I never called…….

A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent’s choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number- friend…….

My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had a boy…Yet, I was not very happy with my married life…One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend’s office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him.

From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble… And till today I almost shared  everything with him including my relationship with my hubby…..today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.

Just then I got a call. “Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot”

I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend…..I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him…. I felt I had been a bad wife……..

A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did.

I decided to give my son his father’s room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find,

“Wrong no Sweety – 26579785”!!!!!

God always puts the right numbers together. It’s us who interpret it wrong!!!!!

To this I replied, and I replied in the meanest way possible. Meanwhile, generally nobody expects reply on forwards and only idiots like me reply to forwards. But this one was really worthy of a reply, and I replied it in form of another story, or rather say diary entry of the dead husband 🙂

Wrong Number
Day 0 – I wish, I wish this screaming kid of mine, who should have gotten centrum in 5 subjects rather than just four were not a child of me and my wife. Nonetheless, I am happy for him, he is a decent bloke and I have also realized that he like girls with big eyes. All I have to make sure is that he doesnt repeat the mistakes of his Dad. Well done my boy…
Day +1 – Ahh, so many reporters, calling, coming in. I hope this doesnt get into my sons head. There is still IIT, MIT and Harvards result that are yet to come. But in midst of all these calls, I waited only for one, call from Sweety. Ahh, how much do I love her. I am writing all this because, if I die, which I know I would one day, then I want my bitchy wife to read this and know that I never loved her.
Sweety, oh sweety, we started  at rock bottom and went up and up with our relationship unlike my marriage where we started in marsh surrounded with marsh and always remained in marsh. I still remember how in a semi drunk state that I dialed your number, which was honestly a mistake. But after listening your sweet voice which was sweet enough to get registered in my sober head, I had to call you again and again. It was not until you used all the expletives you heard your dad using ever, on me that I decided to nail you. I was like, ‘What the hell…she must be real maal.
Sweet voice (check), Strong temper (check), Big Eyes (check) {I just imagine that you have big eyes}, Every thing else in good shape (check) {had to imagine this too} and then I called you once again with that puppy honest voice of mine to get you in the loop, and ahaa you fell for it which made you more nicer and ummm… nailable because, Sweet voice (check), Strong temper (check), Big Eyes (check) {I just imagine that you have big eyes}, Every thing else in good shape (check) {had to imagine this too}, Dumb (check).

Slowly I realized that you were more dumber than I thought, but I wasnt having any success what so ever with real girls around me, so I though I should be continuing with you. It would be dishonest of me if I say that I didnt started liking you, I did, I honestly did, but I always wanted to nail you first. Because one cannot hang a family portrait without a nail.
When you said that you would be coming to Delhi, I though my time has finally come, but you decided to move on and I had to marry this bitch I am living with. And see, 20 years have passed by, both of us got wrong partners. When I realized that you are in a more screwed up relationship than I am, that nailing plan of mine just got rekindled, and even now – Sweet voice (check), Mellowed temper but mid age menopausal frustration (check), Big eyes (check) {specs for sure}, Few things in good shape (check) {have to imagine and keep my belief strong}, Dumb (check).

Day +2 –

Cant do anything about my wife, who like a cat who likes to stare out of window keeps on staring at our landline phone, which is there in house only for one reason i.e., internet = porn =  making me and (i know, every father knows) my son happy. I will have to devise a safe plan so that I can receive Sweety’s call and tell her about my son, (which I wish would have been ours) and his success (that has started getting into his head).
Meanwhile, what a terrible marriage life I have had with a bitchy and moronic wife who I think have a fantasy friend which she mumbles about in her sleep. It is also surprising that how Sweety is in same position like me and sometimes it seems that she is living with a male version of my wife. A PERFECT BITCHA (all men are dogs, so he must be a BITCHA). I think time has come for me to talk to my son and give him tips to manage his love life for now and future.
Day +3 –
Talked to my son. Told him that he should not make my mistake, though didnt tell him about my mistake.
I knew it, he does have a liking for big eyed girls, he likes a Mukherjee girl. Like father like son.
Meanwhile just to make a note, havent received a call from Sweety from long time. It must be coming any time soon.
I also wonder, why did the wrong number strategy not work after Sweety. It may be that there was only one girl as dumb and sweet as Sweety or I really started liking her which made me suck in wrong number trick.
Self Note – Propose Sweety, Divorce your wife.
Day +4 –
She wants this, she want that… why doesnt she wants to die. DIE BITCH DIE.
Good news: Finally found a detective who can help me track Sweety’s number. Will be meeting him tomorrow.

[And then you know what happened]
I wont say that this reply is perfect, but is insightful, but then who said life of two individuals in a marriage is perfect but is surely as I noted, Insigtful… I hope you get what I mean…

One Response to “Wrong Number / Wrong Number”

  1. kriti trivedi August 8, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

    This is the best possible post anda deserves to be a forward chain by all means .Can i say super gr8

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